kristin has been a bad kristin
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
