you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
