if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
