Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
