Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
