I think I won the penis lottery.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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