I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
