Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
