Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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