Jerry, you need to find god
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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