who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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