you guys were way drunker than both of me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
smell my finger.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
