I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
