grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
