Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
