Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
