Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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