I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
