I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dicks are not precious.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
