I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
