I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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