okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
