FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you never un-have a 4some
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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