Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i now understand why vodka
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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