mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
