so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
