foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
