Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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