Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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