That's intense
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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