Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
