I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
