I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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