with your own penis?
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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