It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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