...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
