Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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