it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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