I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
