I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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