WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
