Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
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This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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