the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize