Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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