His pubic hair was longer than his dick
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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