he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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