Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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