apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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