New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
did i just pee glitter
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
