I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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