weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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