My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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