singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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