I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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