this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
