Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
