i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
