it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
