Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
