You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
