Having a random hookup so left but love u
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
