Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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