Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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