people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
