tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
