I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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